A New {little} Life

We are so elated to welcome our new sweet baby into our family. It is still so surreal that once again, I am growing a human life, creating another little person to fill our seemingly full hearts with even more love. Ryan and I have grown so much as parents, husband and wife, and people in general.

So many years ago, he and I shared a conversation that was one of the most meaningful in our lives. We were in Dallas with friends, and we were celebrating a fun evening at a quaint little pub. Ryan and I took a break outside and sat on the empty patio, enjoying the cool evening. He looked at me and smiled and told me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and wanted to have a big family with me. We talked for so long about what an amazing life we had ahead of us, sharing our hearts and love with our children. We laughed and cried, excited about our future.

When I found out I was pregnant with Dylan, we talked about that night, and how it was coming true. Again, two years later, we remember that excitement we felt and are yet again in awe of the beautiful changes in our lives. We thank God every day for blessing us.

The journey of little baby bumblebee started over a year ago. In August 2011 I suffered an ectopic pregnancy. While my body recovered and our hearts healed, we thanked God for the blessing of our amazing little boy. He is our everything, and we love him to the moon and back. In a tearful conversation together, Ryan and I agreed that if another child was not in our future, we would still feel abundantly blessed and our hearts would be full.

Although there were many odds against us, I had healed well, and we knew we were ready for another child in our lives. With giddy excitement we decided to start trying in February. Valentine's Day, our birthdays, Easter, Dylan's wonderful second birthday - as holidays passed, the negative tests stacked up. There were so many times where I just KNEW I was pregnant...only I wasn't. While I know nothing of the powerful ache that years of unsuccessful pregnancies can bring, I was beginning to feel the slight pang of worry and disappointment. Dylan kept our days full and busy, and we continued making wonderful memories together. Ryan kept me smiling and positive, and assured me that it would happen in time. Meanwhile, we single handedly kept First Response in business.

In June we decided to go on our first summer vacation together as a family. We would spend a week in the New Mexico mountains at Ryan's parent's cabin. Then we would leave Dylan with them and spend a week in California visiting my friends, Cara & Sarah.
After a surprisingly smooth 12 hour drive to the beautiful mountainside, we unloaded for our week in nature. Dylan was elated to be free and to play with Grandma and Baba. He jumped into the soft dirt, dump trucks and shovels in hand, and pretty much stayed there for the next two weeks.
 

The second morning came early as Dylan woke us before sunrise, yelling "Mama! Dada!!" and crawled into our bed for snuggles. After the whole house woke and ate a delicious breakfast, everyone migrated outside to play. As I sat on the porch swing enjoying the cool breeze, it happened. IT HAPPENED! That moment where I realized that everything had changed - that my body was quietly letting me in on the big secret. I felt the marvelous butterfly flutters in my tummy that I recognized so dreamily from the day I found out I was pregnant with Dylan. I quietly excused myself and darted inside to grab my last pregnancy test. I took the test and closed my eyes. When I opened, it told me exactly what I had hoped that it would. I was pregnant! I shakily stared at the double lines, taking it all in. I slid the test into my pocket and went back out to my family.

It was such a beautiful morning, and I wanted to get re-acquainted with the land. Mostly I was desperate to whisk Ryan and Dylan away to share the wonderful news. I snuggled D into the Ergo on my back and the three of us hiked down to the mountain stream. Bob and Sherry's neighbor "The Dentist" owns a darling covered bridge over the stream. While Ryan looked out an open window on the right, I placed the positive pregnancy test in the window on the left. I said "Oh wow honey! Look at that!" and he came to my side to see what it was. He looked out at the water, then down to the window sill; swooping up the test with a shocked look on his face. "You are pregnant?? Are you serious?! Toni!" I gave him a goofy grin with happy tears in my eyes and nodded. He wrapped his arms around Dylan and I and we all embraced. It was a perfect moment in a very beautiful place.

The two greatest loves of my life there by my side to celebrate the third.

I will never forget that day, the emotions and happiness - the beginning of the next chapter of our lives, our dreams coming true.